The Art and Practice of Victimhood: Step # 9


If you have been following along up to now you should already be pretty well versed with this step. And there are always the newspapers, the internet and all kinds of other media available to help you advance your capacity to victimhood. With some diligence you can find the rain clouds amidst the sunshine. It’s all a matter of reframing and being committed to your passion for optimal victimhood.

Start by using whatever comes up as an opportunity to see the bad or negative in it.

“Yeah it’s nice now, but it won’t last. Believe me we’ll pay for it later.”

“Look what we had to go through in order to get here.”

Learn to look for the down side in each and every event. This method is called the “sinkhole” effect, and it is a powerful deterrent for a bright and pleasant day. Say things like:

“People only pretend to be nice because they want something.”

“He only donated to that charity as a tax write-off.”

“This isn’t going to work out well; just you wait and see. Something is bound to go wrong.”

Dig around enough and you’ll always manage to find something to complain about. When things go 99% well, focus on that 1% that didn’t. If you find a dollar on the sidewalk, complain that it wasn’t a ten. Say your “back hurts from bending over to get that dollar”, or that “the money is infested with germs.”

If you really want to set people off here are a few statements that promise to launch most people into a reactive state and cause them to be irritated:

  1. “Are you sitting down? I’ve got something to get off my chest.”

       2. “In my humble opinion…”

      3. “No offense or anything, but…”

      4. “Look, you should know this…” (And then launch into a vicious criticism)

      5. I’m just being honest.” (Actually you’re being frank and harsh)

      6. “I’m the only one who has enough backbone to tell you what everybody’s saying about you.”

      7. “With all due respect, but…” (Then blast away with disrespectful comments)

      8. “I’ve been thinking about something you said about me a long time ago, and while you might not remember it, it’s been bothered me since then.”

Here are some more great ideas to foster your victimhood:

When you are in a restaurant talk about how the steak on someone else’s plate has cancer causing chemicals. You can also do some comparing by telling the wait staff that the plate of food at a neighboring table looks nicer than yours does.

When someone asks you how you’re doing, launch into a litany of physical ailments – real and imagined – as well as the terrible things that happened to you that day.

 “I had to go downtown today. It was awful; I couldn’t get a parking space; I didn’t have enough quarters for the meter…I worried about getting a ticket for the entire time I was at my appointment. The clerk I had to deal with was so rude and took forever… I was late for my next meeting…I had a headache all day long and I think I’m dying!”  

There are endless things you can banter about regarding how awful they are if you put your mind to it. If you have been able to find a mentor or two you can readily see how effective they are when it comes to spouting negative comments. This has a tremendous effect on bringing down an entire group you happen to be with. If you are really effective you may notice others start joining in and add their own frustrations and complaints. This will surely frenzy up a sinkhole effect of negativity.

And here’s where you can become a great player in the sport called: “Can you top this one?” Whenever people start talking about their various pet peeves, interrupt them with things like:

“If you think that’s bad, let me tell you…” Or

“That’s nothing, wait until you hear this….”

In summary, with a solid commitment for negativity you can contaminate any environment with these various strategies. Any and all of them will zap the positive energy from just about any sort of gathering or event.

Next week: # 10 GET INTO THERAPY