The Art and Practice of Victimhood: Step # 8


Victims come in all sorts of different shapes and styles. Only you are the one who is best suited to determine what style of victimhood is more to your own liking there are plenty of options available.

What’s critical is that you decide on a style of victimhood that works best with your personality and temperament. One popular style of victimhood is the poor-me approach. This particular one is great for controlling others and it’s done mostly through passivity. It operates to a large degree on indifference and inaction, and with a huge doses of guilt.

“It figures. Nothing good ever happens to me. I’m not lucky like you.”

“I was born at the wrong time, wrong place, in wrong family…”

By consistently using your negative affirmations, combined with plenty of criticism and gossip, the meekly exhibited poor-you approach can generate a circle of people who will gravitate towards you by feeling sorry for you. These people typically start out with strong desire to help you – and if left to their natural tendencies will eagerly take over more and more, thus letting you sit back more and more. Without realizing it they will unwittingly collude in your helplessness and join in your ill-fated victimhood.

Over time these emerging patterns of pitiful victimhood will be cemented into place, and you will never again be expected to pull your own weight. This persona of the pathetic creature that you are becoming will go a long way in creating you as someone seen as a bona fide victim.

While you sit back in your poor-me passivity you’ll enjoy knowing you have provided fulfillment to so many over responsible types. The name for these folks is over-functioners. Over-functioners are people who are compelled to take care of everyone else, and they will sweep in and, if allowed, over-extend themselves further and further. They will take more and more responsibility, as you subsequently take on less and less.

For the more serious and dedicated victim there is the optional rage-filled victim approach. This style is for the more enterprising person – the one with the stamina that’s needed to inflict outrage and indignation into every possible situation. Initially it is a more difficult approach. However, once mastered, it offers several advantages: It endears you to no one; it provides substantially more lasting power; and it is likely to expedite you with serious health problems that can only further fuel your life of victimhood.

The rage-filled victim is someone who is successful at dealing with even the most dedicated helpers – over-functioners – of this world. There is also greater satisfaction from dampening the heretofore-indomitable spirits of those who generally think of themselves as good and decent people. Lash out with random acts of rage and contempt when someone mistakenly presents you with some helpful suggestions to improve your terrible lot in life. If you do this often enough you will provoke these otherwise kindly people into becoming the most unsympathetic people. They will shift into being highly reactive and defensive. This shift in their normal stance will cause them to feel extremely conflicted. This will both surprise and distress them. Show them no mercy. While they are reeling from their own dismay demonstrate you’re most intense and irritated combination of contempt and anger.

“That’s pretty easy for someone like you who was born with a silver spoon in his naive and pathetic mouth to say! You don’t have a clue about all I’ve had to go through!”

If the helper is initially undaunted, continue your attack. Keep at it until they back away.

“You really make me sick; you and your stupid advice! As if you’re so perfect. Try minding your own business for a change!”

With persistence, the most recalcitrant helper will eventually back off and retreat from your side. And they will avoid you now like the plague. Rest assured you’ll enrolled them as your best ambassadors – forewarning all others that you are NOT to be reckoned with!