The Art and Practice of Victimhood: Step # 10


Finally, the tenth step for becoming a successful victim. If you have been following along up to now then it is time for you to advance as you are ready –

more than ready for professional victimhood. You are now a professional victim and this means you’re ready to take on the so-called pros: Find a therapist. Find lots of them if need be. Join groups. Attend workshops. Get diagnosed. Nothing is more useful for a victim than the language of psychotherapy.

“I’m an Adult Child of Alcoholics.”

“I’m an Adult Child of Normal Parents.”

“I was verbally abused.”

“I’m having a mid-life crisis.”

“I was under nourished in my previous life.”

“I can’t help myself, I’m neurotic.”

Don’t find just any therapist; find one willing to do the work for both of you. With a good diagnostic label, some genetically based notions for whatever your assigned malady, and an over-responsible therapist, you are well on your way to avoiding any viable treatment plan that comes anywhere close to your taking responsibility for – ANYTHING.

If you begin to even suspect your therapist may be working up the nerve to offer some psychological insight, such as:

“You know, Billy (age 47 and still living with his parents), it seems to me that getting fired seven times from seven different jobs in less than three years is a bit unusual. Do you suppose you might have something to do with what you describe as a string of bad luck? I mean, maybe not all of it, but maybe some of it? What do you think, Billy, is it possible?”

Dump this therapist immediately! She’s onto you and it’s unlikely that she’ll ever let up. This one obviously does not need the case flow of people that just want to hang around and practice whining and complaining. So he/she isn’t likely going to let go of this “insight” regarding your lack of personal responsibility.

If need be, explode into a fit of well-rehearsed rage.

You’re just like all the others!” (Meaning those five therapists you’ve fired for saying very similar things already).

“You have no idea what it’s like for me. I’m damaged! All my bosses hated me. My mother didn’t hold me enough/held me too much. My father was a jerk! Too old fashion! Too uptight! Too normal! And now I have this lousy therapist who expects me to be more responsible! You don’t understand what I’ve been through. I’m damaged, and now you’ve made me so upset. It’s all your fault!”

Then, immediately leave.

When you walk past the receptionist, do not let your smile be visible. Wait until you are safely outside before you approvingly notch one more shattered professional into your victimhood belt. You are way more of a professional than this so-called helper.

With these ten steps, when it comes to victimhood, they’re all amateurs – family, friends, work colleagues, ministers, and even professional therapists. You’re the professional!  After all you definitely have what it takes.


I do hope you’ve enjoy this tongue and cheek series, possibly playful approach – this paradoxical tactic – and have even found it to be perversely useful. Obviously real people do have real problems. In no way was this blog series meant to belittle or discount the serious or tragic things that many people must face. At the same time scapegoating, blaming and projecting, on top of our very human condition – our addiction to needing to be right makes it difficult to see the part we may play in our problems and struggles.

None of us get to choose the circumstances of our lives. However we do get to choose how we respond to the circumstances of our lives. And to that end I say we get to have a powerful say in the matter of our lives.

Pogo, the now defunct comic strip once said:

“We have met the enemy and he is us.”